A Step-by-Step Guide to Preparing for Custody Mediation

It’s easy for custody mediation to feel overwhelming when emotions are high and the future feels uncertain. 

But instead of leaving decisions entirely to a judge, mediation for custody gives parents the opportunity to work together — with the help of a neutral mediator — to create a parenting plan that meets their child’s needs. 

It’s a private, structured process designed to reduce conflict, save time, and encourage cooperation. It’s beneficial, especially if you’ve used mediation for an uncontested divorce.

Preparation will help you make the most of this opportunity. When you arrive organized, with clear priorities and an understanding of the process, you give yourself the best chance of reaching an agreement that works for everyone involved. 

This step-by-step guide will explain what to expect in custody mediation and how to prepare so you can approach the process with confidence and focus. We also cover the mediation process, so you know what to expect if you’ve never been through it before.

Keep reading to learn more. 

Understanding the mediation for the custody process

1. Mediation is required in Utah

In Utah, mediation is required before a custody trial for contested issues. You can pick a mediator or have one assigned to you. But before you can go to court, you must go through at least one meeting.

2. Scheduling and preparation

The mediator or court schedules the session, depending on the circumstances. You’ll receive instructions about what to bring, such as financial documents, parenting schedules, or relevant records. 

Before the meeting, each parent may submit background information to help the mediator understand the family’s situation.

3. Opening session

Mediation for custody begins with introductions and an explanation of the process. The mediator reviews the ground rules, which include confidentiality, respectful communication, and a focus on problem-solving instead of blame. 

What’s said in mediation stays there, giving each parent the confidence to speak up for themselves. Interruptions or personal attacks are strictly prohibited when speaking with the other parent or anyone else involved. 

In addition to laying out these guidelines, the mediator explains that their role is to guide discussion, not to make decisions for the parents.

4. Discussion of issues

Each parent has a chance to share their concerns, priorities, and desired outcomes. The mediator helps keep the conversation focused on the child’s needs and steers away from unrelated disputes. Common topics include:

• Custody schedules (weekdays, weekends, holidays)

• Decision-making authority for education, healthcare, and other major matters

• Transportation and exchanges

• Communication guidelines

5. Negotiation and problem-solving

The mediator helps identify common ground and explore options for resolving disagreements. They may meet with each parent separately (called “caucusing”) to work through sensitive issues or test solutions privately before bringing them to the group.

6. Reaching an agreement

If parents reach a consensus, the mediator or their assistant drafts a written parenting plan. This document outlines all agreed terms in clear, enforceable language. Both parents review it carefully and may make changes before signing.

7. Submitting the agreement to the court

The signed agreement is usually filed with the court for signature by the Judge. Once signed, it becomes a legally binding order.

8. If no agreement is reached

If mediation for custody fails, unresolved issues go back to court. The judge will make decisions after a hearing or trial. However, even partial agreements can reduce what needs to be decided in court, making it worthwhile.

How to prepare

Step 1: Gather important documents

As we mentioned in the previous section, mediation involves many documents. Knowing what to bring can make all the difference. 

Indeed, documents give structure to your proposals and back up your requests with facts. You may need to bring parenting schedules, activity calendars, medical records/notes, financial records, and communication logs between you and your co-parent. 

Organize your materials by topic or date so you can find what you need quickly. The more prepared you are, the more persuasive your position will be.

Step 2: Identify your goals and priorities

Think carefully about what matters most for your child’s well-being. Decide on your preferred custody schedule; how decision-making should be shared for education and healthcare; and how to divide holidays, school breaks, and vacation time.

Separate your “must-haves” from your “nice-to-haves.” This will help you stay focused during discussions and make it easier to compromise on less critical points.

Step 3: Understand the other parent’s perspective

Successful mediation often involves understanding the other parent's perspective. Consider their work schedule, availability, living arrangements, proximity to school or activities, and current relationship and routines with the child.

Acknowledging their concerns doesn’t mean giving up your priorities — it means finding solutions that work for both households and benefit your child.

Step 4: Practice effective communication

How you say something is as important as what you say. It’s important to follow these guidelines:

• Stay calm and respectful, even during disagreements.

• Avoid personal attacks or rehashing unrelated conflicts.

• Use “I” statements, such as “I’m concerned about…” rather than “You never…”

• Keep the focus on your child’s needs, not on past frustrations.

If certain topics make you emotional, rehearse how you’ll respond so you can remain composed.

Step 5: Prepare your parenting plan draft

A written draft can guide your discussions. Include regular and holiday custody schedules, transportation arrangements, and handoff locations, guidelines for communication between parents, and plans for unexpected events like illness or travel delays.

Your draft may not be the final agreement, but it shows the mediator and the other parent that you’ve thought through the details.

Step 6: Take care of yourself before mediation day

Arrive prepared physically and mentally. Get enough rest the night before. Eat a balanced meal so you can focus. Arrange childcare so you’re not distracted. Plan to arrive early to avoid feeling rushed. 

Emotional readiness matters, too. Talk to a supportive friend, counselor, or attorney if you’re feeling anxious.

Step 7: Know what happens afterward

If you reach an agreement, the mediator will put it into writing. The agreement is reviewed, signed, and sent to the court for signature. Once the judge signs off, it becomes legally binding.

If mediation doesn’t solve every issue, you may move forward with a court hearing on the unresolved matters. Still, any agreements you do reach can reduce the time and expense of a trial, making it worthwhile.

Final thoughts

Custody mediation can feel daunting, but preparation makes a real difference. When you come in organized, with clear goals, a willingness to listen, and a focus on your child’s best interests, you increase your chances of leaving with a workable, lasting agreement.

Remember, mediation isn’t about winning or losing. It’s about building a parenting plan that supports your child’s stability and happiness. With the right mindset and preparation, you can approach the process confidently, informed, and ready to make decisions that benefit your family.

Let Salt Mediation Group guide you toward a better resolution

You don’t have to navigate custody mediation alone. At Salt Mediation Group, we understand how emotional and overwhelming these conversations can feel. That’s why we take a calm, focused approach that keeps discussions productive and centered on what matters most: your child’s well-being.

Our experienced mediators know how to transform tense or complicated issues into constructive agreements. By guiding both parents through a respectful and structured process, we help reduce conflict, encourage cooperation, and save you the time, expense, and stress of a drawn-out court battle.

Every family’s situation is unique; we’re committed to helping you build a parenting plan that fits your needs while supporting stability and consistency for your child. 

Whether you’re entering mediation for the first time or revisiting an existing arrangement, we provide the clarity, structure, and support you need to move forward with confidence.

Take the first step toward a workable solution today. Contact Salt Mediation Group to schedule your mediation and start building a path toward resolution and peace of mind.